Thompsonland

What @urbanchurchstl needs #DayOne. Consider helping us get...

Thu, 09 May 2013 12:53:47 -0400

What @urbanchurchstl needs #DayOne. Consider helping us get there. http://urbanchurch.tv/index.php/give/

What @urbanchurchstl needs #DayOne. Consider helping us get...

Thu, 09 May 2013 12:52:37 -0400

What @urbanchurchstl needs #DayOne. Consider helping us get there. http://urbanchurch.tv/index.php/give/

Crap just got real. (at Choctaw Casino)

Mon, 06 May 2013 15:56:07 -0400

Crap just got real. (at Choctaw Casino)

Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain! My first taste of...

Mon, 06 May 2013 13:37:56 -0400

Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain! My first taste of Mazzio’s in almost 10 years!

Introducing #Prelaunch, the weekly beginning of no-end. Sundays...

Sun, 05 May 2013 15:18:57 -0400

Introducing #Prelaunch, the weekly beginning of no-end. Sundays this summer.

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Sun, 05 May 2013 10:06:22 -0400

Some awesome worship @NorthPointMO. Miss playing with these...

Sat, 04 May 2013 20:03:03 -0400

Some awesome worship @NorthPointMO. Miss playing with these guys!

Coolest. Kids. Book. Ever! I would so read this! :)

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:27:16 -0400

Coolest. Kids. Book. Ever! I would so read this! :)

After a long week, Daddy/Daughters Date! There may have been...

Sat, 04 May 2013 11:45:25 -0400

After a long week, Daddy/Daughters Date! There may have been cake pops. (at Starbucks)

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Fri, 03 May 2013 07:54:04 -0400

Listening to some @bobgoff at @NPCNixa; impossible to follow...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 12:31:49 -0400

Listening to some @bobgoff at @NPCNixa; impossible to follow with notes, AWESOME to listen to & be happy!

New @UrbanChurchSTL business cards. That’s right. Facebook...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 14:56:52 -0400

New @UrbanChurchSTL business cards. That’s right. Facebook style! You know you want one!

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Sun, 07 Apr 2013 12:31:37 -0400

Hey! Help us spread the word about @UrbanChurchSTL! Follow us on...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 16:59:43 -0400

Hey! Help us spread the word about @UrbanChurchSTL! Follow us on Instagram!

Because here, a name like “Panera” just...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 16:55:29 -0400

Because here, a name like “Panera” just doesn’t cut it! Let’s rock & roll, @urbanchurchstl!

I am so excited about my new novel “MERRY MEN!” Over...

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:14:00 -0400

I am so excited about my new novel “MERRY MEN!” Over the next few weeks I’ll be posting info related to the new book including ways you’ll be able to order it or download it.

Currently there’s not an audio version but I’m going to be working on that this summer.

Check out the trailer for the book below! And help me get views and comments on it! May 22!

In my new novel, MERRY MEN, Mike Burns is an obsessive...

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:42:00 -0400

In my new novel, MERRY MEN, Mike Burns is an obsessive compulsive banker whose world is shaken when his small time bank is bought out by a regional industry giant. When his ruthless new boss begins a tirade of layoffs, Mike snaps and decides to take matters into his own hands.

Here, Mike and his branch manager Elaine have decided to rob every cent from the bank’s reserves and return it to every customer and investor in the bank’s history. They are now meeting with a brilliant IT nerd named Lucas Develby who is about to reveal their plan for bank robbery success!

BEGIN EXCERPT

Mike and Elaine sat on the edge of the old sofa in the dark basement of Lucas’s house. The sofa smelled of human farts and sneakers that Mike thought were more likely to be moldy and wet than athletic. The wall behind them was a crusty dark wood paneling. The carpet was a dingy shade of blue and the rest of the room only grew uglier.

In the corner near the stairs – which lead to the main part of the house where Lucas’s parents lived - was a dead plant that had withered to nothing but the base, which also stank. Across from Mike and Elaine was a wall exactly like the one behind them, but with an old work table and four old desktop computers, each with different screen-savers. A framed photo of a woman who could only be Lucas’s mother hung alone near a window.

Lucas walked down the stairs with a glass of Kool-Aid in one hand and an iPod Touch in the other. “Okay,” he said as he neared the bottom of the stairs, “who’s ready?”

Mike and Elaine exchanged looks again but said nothing.

Lucas stepped onto the floor and walked toward the center of the room. “To my left,” he said as Mike and Elaine looked to his left, “is a closet. When I open the closet, prepare to be amazed.”

Mike and Elaine looked toward the closet as Lucas opened the door. Then, Lucas stepped back and held up the iPod Touch. Mike reached in his right pocket for his inhaler but stopped himself.

Lucas held his thumb up on the iPod and a whirring noise emanated from the closet. Mike and Elaine leaned forward, their eyes growing with anticipation, when a strange contraption emerged from the darkness. Rolling along the carpet appeared to be a Rumba automatic vacuum cleaner, above which sat a dense metal block and an old translucent-blueberry shell iMac from 1999. Directly above the iMac sat two camcorders. Hi-8’s.

Lucas clicked on a portion of the iPod screen and a camera image appeared. The moving image coincided with the movement of the machine itself.

The machine moved to the center of the room, bumping into the sofa once, then finding its place next to Lucas. The droid stood knee level to him. Mike and Elaine glanced up at Lucas, then down to the machine. Both of them sat speechless with eyes as wide as dinner plates.

Lucas nodded and closed his eyes, embracing a moment that felt larger than all three of them in that dark, smelly basement. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to introduce to you the very first hacker-programmer droid known to man. Please say hello to Artoodeetoo!”

The room grew even more silent as Mike and Elaine grasped for words.

At last, Mike spoke. “Artoodeetoo? You mean like in Star Wars?”

“NO! Not like in Star Wars,” said Lucas, slamming his hand down onto the iPod. “This droid is totally different! First of all, she’s female!” he lifted his index finger.

Elaine raised her eyebrows at this, but only a little.

“Second,” said Lucas, “the name isn’t even spelled the same! The robot in Star Wars is simply a serial number, R-2-D-2!” He signed the letters and numbers to illustrate this point, then continued, “This droid’s name is spelled out! And third, this Artoo would kick the Star Wars droid’s butt!”

Mike glanced at Elaine, but she ignored him. He looked back at Lucas. “Okay,” he said in a dry tone, “Lucas, I’m really not sure we need…”

“Hold on one second,” said Lucas, pressing a button on the iPod.

The droid made a whirring sound again, spun around, and then grew silent as it rolled next to Mike. Lucas tossed the iPod onto the sofa and held out his hands to signify he was no longer controlling anything. Mike looked back at the droid. The camera eyes clicked and spun. Mike and Elaine jumped a bit when the cameras shifted their weight and looked right at them. Then, the camera on Mike shifted again and moved down to his torso.

A soft dinging tone sounded from the machine as it rolled back to Lucas. Lucas walked to the sofa and retrieved his iPod. He clicked a button and looked at the screen. “Michael Jeffrey Burns, born January 17th, 1968,” Lucas said.

Mike cocked his head and gave Elaine a funny look. She returned the expression.

Lucas continued. “Says here that according to your bank records, two hundred-and-fifty dollars was just taken out of your account, which…is…not with RoeBank. Your bank account with Justice Community Credit Union ends with the last four digits, ‘one, four, seven, zero.’”

“Okay, okay,” said Mike, not quite interrupting, “How did you do that? Is that all it shows?”

“Oh, no,” said Lucas, “it shows the whole number. The whole number is ‘one, five, four…”

“All right, fine!” said Mike. “You’ve made your point! But, what would this machine do that would help us?”

Lucas held out his hands in a shrug. “She’s a hacker droid! She would get any information you want without being traced on the system! No one would even notice it. Place it under a desk and her whirring noise fits right in with their computers. I can also program her to make any kind of transfer we need.”

Elaine looked at Mike for a long moment. “Okay,” she said with a hint of hesitation, “suppose we’re considering it. How would…Artoo…deetoo,” She shut her eyes upon saying the name, “do all of this undetected?”

Lucas looked at Mike. “You work in Floor Two C-Wing, right? The Wasteland?”

Mike nodded.

“Great,” said Lucas, “so all we do is disconnect her.” Lucas pointed to the droid. “Then, we pack her into a small crate I have, bring her into your office, and let her hide in one of the cabinets in the reception area.”

Mike glanced at Elaine and nodded. Then, he turned to Lucas and frowned. “One question, though. I wasn’t on a computer. My personal information isn’t on my phone, either. How did it know all of that before?”

“She, Mr. Burns,” said Lucas, frowning. “She.”

Mike held his tongue and stared straight ahead.

Lucas continued. “And she has a world of information already inside of her. She’s connected right into the Lexus-Nexus database. Undetected, of course. Her eyes scanned your pockets and picked up your driver’s license in your wallet.”

Mike and Elaine exchanged a nervous glance once more.

Lucas continued. “Pulling your driver’s license number and birthday was easy, the next thing was scanning the system for you. Social Security numbers, kids, last seven addresses. It’s all in there.”

Mike’s jaw fell open.

Elaine clapped her hands once to end the meeting. “Okay,” she said. “I think we’re ready to do some bank robbing!”

Lucas scratched his head. “Um, does that million come from the first job or do I have to stick around through the whole thing?”

Mike and Elaine glared with frowns.

Lucas nodded and furrowed his eyebrows. “Okay, then. Just checking.”

How does a grillmaster compromise with a vegetarian? By grilling...

Fri, 13 May 2011 12:33:46 -0400

How does a grillmaster compromise with a vegetarian? By grilling turkey burgers & black bean burgers! That’s how! (Taken with instagram)

Who’s the king of all chalk art?? @Austin_Kelley is,...

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:55:37 -0400

Who’s the king of all chalk art?? @Austin_Kelley is, that’s who!!! (Taken with Instagram at North Point Church)

This is the only way we get any exercise when Things 1, 2, and 3...

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 15:37:39 -0400

This is the only way we get any exercise when Things 1, 2, and 3 are awake. (Taken with Instagram at Kay Point Pool)